I am 1/2 done chapter 9 of NWWPO and I am feeling so… ugh. I dunno. Anxious to get this out because people have been so patient but totally failing at getting it done in a timely manner and I’m so unsure because it’s another character development chapter for the most part, not so much the plot, except GIANT POINT at the end, and the friendships are important and just because people aren’t making out doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another but I’ve gotten some comments of people being annoyed that it’s being all feelings and stuff but… ugh.
Basically, I’m insecure and it’s making the whole writing thing hard and I’m scared of failing somehow. Even though I know that’s silly.
How do you other writer folks deal with it?That is silly! Remember, Bluebird, you literally cannot fail at your story! This is YOUR story; you’re writing it so you can convey YOUR ideas in YOUR own narrative. Pretty much the only way you can fail in writing your story is if what you put down on the page doesn’t satisfy YOU. That’s really about it!
Now, it is true that you can disappoint or annoy part of your audience. If it takes you “too long” to finish up the next chapter, yeah, you’re probably disappointing the people who dearly want to read more ASAP. And if the chapter you’re working on contains content that part of your audience doesn’t care to read, or disagrees with, or thinks is unnecessary, then they might be disappointed or think you’ve failed them somehow. But this doesn’t mean you have! It only means that you haven’t managed to meet the needs and requirements of every single one of your readers personally, and if you are feeling like you have to do that, I’m going to reach through the computer and shake you. Yes, it’s damn fucking hard to hear that a reader didn’t like some part of what you so laboriously put on the page. (I was devastated by a comment someone left on “Mercenary Medicine” telling me that they’d skipped the part where Blackout goes through the Stunticons’ rooms because it was an unnecessary diversion from the main plot— I know you know how much trouble that particular section gave me, so being told that it was unnecessary was like a gutpunch.) But all you can do in the end, love, is remember that this is your story, not theirs, and all that matters is whether or not you’re personally happy with what you’ve written.
I know there’s this strange expectation in certain parts of fandom that just because you’re presenting your story as you write it instead of after it’s finished, you’re actively soliciting or otherwise open to advice about what to write about or where to take the plot. I know that this occasionally leads to this weird sense of proprietary entitlement in readers, where they act and engage you as if you have some responsibility to write what they, specifically, want to see.
And guess what?
That’s bullshit!
In the end, it is your narrative to craft. Write about what interests you, Amanda. Remember that character development is as important to any given story as raw plot. Remember that Homestuck is basically about kids having feelings for each other (even if many of them discuss those feelings in the snarkiest, most evasive ways possible). Remember that you do a bigger disservice to your audience in rushing this chapter to meet some self-imposed deadline, or in pandering to what you think your audience wants instead of writing YOUR story.
Remember that in the end, it’s your story to tell, not anyone else’s.
That’s usually the pep talk I give myself when I’m having an anxiety attack over my writing, anyway. I hope it helps you, darling.
Excellent advice I know I will need at some point.
↧
Fanfic anxeities
↧